Why not Waldo?

Hi my name is Emerson. My parents are both nuts. My mom named me after a romantic transcendentalist poet, and my dad, who is old enough to be my grandfather, is a Baby Boomer who also thought it would be a COOL name. Dad has recently taken the obligatory turn to the right that all the Woodstock whacos take after the drugs of their youth finally cause the brain damage they were promised, so there is no telling why he liked my name. Mom, at least, named me Emerson for a reason. She was tortured in her youth by religious zealots and decided to name me after her favorite theological poet who cared more about all of Nature itself than any particular religion's view of it. Mom grew up in Vermont and wanted to be sure I am seen kindly by the Universal Eyeball of the Green Mountains. I guess it could have been worse. They could have named me Ralph or, God forbid, Waldo! Well back to the crib before they find out I wrote this. I am 10 months old, so I am having a hard time writing with one hand at a time so I can shift thumbs. Oh, my big brother keeps telling me I look retarded, another reason I suck my thumbs. When he reads this then he'll see whose really retarded. Well at least with him around, when I'm 16 maybe I won't have to learn to drive, grinding gears, in Dad's newest banged up psychodelic bus.